Wow! It's been too long!

Hello my freaky friends! It's been way too long since I have last written. To be honest, I completely forgot that I started a blog!

That being said, I have been some places and done some things and every day is an adventure!

I lost a job and gained a new one, of course doing the same thing, but only better! Better pay, better opportunities and better perks! Not that I didn't have all that before, it just a bonus! And here I was, worried that things wouldn't go for the better! I let my fear rule me for a while but I snapped out of it and went for the kill and the best part, I won!

So here's my commitment... I will try to keep up on this awesome blog, update my freaky friends on my life and even touch on those touchy subjects... but not like a needy boyfriend. lol!

Some days... I'm depressed.

   Some days I just don't know what else I can possibly do to screw something else up. Seems like I am always doing something to tick someone off. Even if I am honest, someone is there to knock me down. Other days, I happen to knock myself down. I have been finding myself to be more depressed more often and over the minor things. I hate this feeling. It's not something that a person can tell you "chin up" or even an "I'm here if you need to talk". It's not about needing or wanting to talk or even cheering up; I can't explain it other than sadness and anger all the time without cause most days. I am so unhappy with myself that I pretty much given up. All I want to do is cry some days but I don't even have the strength to create the tears. 
   I know that I have gained weight, but I lack the willpower to even call my doctor to make an appointment in fear that I will be reprimanded in not paying a past due bill and/or not completing or keeping with a medication regimen. I feel as if it's all wrong.  
   I feel as if I am never heard and you know, it's by the people that need to hear what I have to say. When they are ready to hear me out, I can't find the words to speak in fear of retaliation. I am simply afraid. I wish life were simpler and less complicated like it used to be. Like the times when I had a job that was worth the time and my bills were taken care of. Back when I had my mom (my rock), back when I had nothing to fear. I have just given up trying to take care of anything anymore. On that note, I have even given up hope for a family and a home of my own. All I want to do now is hide and never emerge until I am good and ready to face the bright sun with one hand covering the glare as if I crawled from the ground after a year of darkness. 
 Wish me luck... I am sure, in the hell, going to need it!

Welcome back brave ones!

I decided to do a list of pet peeves for this blog... Enjoy!

1. Jerks! Don't be rude! Learn some manners!
2. Being slowed down or sped up... I work at "Me" speed, deal with it!
3. Being misunderstood when what I meant was said bluntly.
4. Being told what to do like I am a child.
5. Guilt trips.
6. Jealousy.
7. Greedy people. Which leads to...
8. Thieves.
9. Liars!
10. People with no compassion.
11. Parents that don't discipline their unruly child.
12. Defiant children (and the parents don't care)
13. People that have no consideration for others.
14. Snobs.
15. Being ignored after being asked my opinion.
16. Being told that I am stupid.
17. Completely lazy people.
18. Those that show a short temper.
19. Destructive people.
20. Others that try to get into your personal business.
21. Users!
22. Abusers (Of any kind).
23. Those that judge others based on nothing more than their appearance.
24. People that push their religion on me.
25. Those that push ANYTHING on me.
26. People that get angry to get their way.
27. Someone that can't keep promises.
28. Cheaters.
29. People that harbor extreme hatred.
30.  A man that can't accept that to have emotions is alright.

 What peeves you? 

Feel free to comment!

Just to get started...

Hey hey all! I am sure you want to know more about me than just the oddity that I am. I'm nearly 30 and my life is only starting. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up! I have many talents and I can never stick with one thing (with the exception of my husband, I do love him!) I tend to get bored with sticking to one thing. I guess the way I am kind of relates to a gypsy. Only without traveling and peddling. 
   I am the person I am today because of my mother. She was my rock of knowledge and my spark to my creativity! She passed away in April of 2010 and there's not a day I don't think of her. I can only hope to be anywhere close to the type of person she was! My father isn't in the picture, I don't know much about him since he was distanced when I was a toddler. I was told though that he did care but showed it in the dumbest ways. I hope to meet him one day, even if just to say "Hey, this is what you missed out on.". I have a strong family of misfits. Everyone is nuts in their own way! If it weren't for the mass difference in personalities of every person in my family, it would be boring and never original! My Daddy is not male, instead she is very much female... I love her to pieces! (Yes, I talk to her every Father's Day, too!) 
   I am an animal lover! *mainly cats* and I like kids, but I gave up on wanting kids of my own. Long story short, I was diagnosed with P.C.O.S. and I am fat. Good luck with conceiving! I have three brothers and they each have children, but I am the first to marry. Heh, family joke ;) I have 2 step sisters that I will never let stray from me (good luck girls, you'll never get rid of me!).
   So, that's a little about me. I will tell more in each post. Until next time, I will be trying to win the lottery!
Much Love,
Mandy